A Christian Lady's Dress
by Lacey Brinley
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Introduction
I want to dress appropriately, as a true Christian should. I think most young Christian ladies would agree. But sometimes we have a hard time knowing what is appropriate. There are so many different opinions on the topic. And we sometimes wonder, why do we need to be so extremely careful about what we wear, anyway? Again, we are given many varying answers: “I dress this way because it makes me feel more feminine and reminds me to act like a lady,” “I dress this way for myself—I'm valuable!” or “I dress this way for the gentlemen—I don't want to be a stumbling block to them.”
Most of these answers are good and right to some degree. But there is a key element missing in all of them. The first one is feeling-based. Many could argue that it isn't even true for them. It leaves the door open to the philosophy that there are no absolute moral standards, only personal preferences. The second answer is plainly selfish and me-focused. And the third—well, I was puzzling over that one myself recently. It is helpful to the gentlemen when Christian ladies dress appropriately in their presence. But when we ask them what they believe is appropriate, they often don't know! Or they don't agree. And what about the times when there are no men around? Are we then free to dress in any way we wish?
As I considered these questions, I realized that they are not the questions we should be asking. We are not to decide how to dress based on our feelings, our personal preferences, or what anyone else thinks. We are to dress to honor God. Every aspect of our lives, including our clothing, should represent Christ and His kingdom before a world that does not know Him. And if we want to accurately represent Christianity in our dress, we cannot consult the world's standards or even (exclusively) our fellow Christians' standards. We must consult God's standards and make them the basis of every decision.
So how does God say a Christian woman should dress? Let's find out!
Read 1 Timothy 2:9
According to this text, what is the first criteria for a Christian woman's clothing?__________
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Modesty has two aspects—shamefacedness and sobriety. Let's look at each of these aspects individually.
Shamefacedness:
What do you think “shamefacedness” means? Look it up in your concordance and/or dictionary and write the definition here: ________________________________________
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A young lady who dresses with shamefacedness shows a proper reserve and respect for God and men. She is ashamed to be seen dressed inappropriately.
Read Genesis 3:7-11
Why were Adam and Eve afraid to come into God's presence? ______________________
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Evidently, this couple knew that nakedness was offensive to God.
But read verse 7 again
Were Adam and Eve completely naked? What were they covered with? _______________
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Now read Genesis 3:21
Did God consider aprons of leaves a sufficient covering? __________________________
What is the difference between coats and aprons? _______________________________
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A shamefaced young lady will show her reserve and respect by choosing clothing that is sufficiently covering and properly concealing.
Read Exodus 20:26
Why did God warn the Israelites not to make steps going up to the altar? _______________
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Our clothing may sufficiently cover us when we are standing in front of the mirror, but what happens when we go upstairs, walk, run, bend over, or sit down? God did not want His people to be uncovered under any circumstance.
Read 2 Samuel 11:1-12:15
What was the result of Bathsheba's immodesty? _________________________________
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It is quite likely that Bathsheba never intended to be immodest. She just didn't think of what others might be able to see. The results were terrible: the temptation and fall of Israel's king, the death of Bathsheba's husband and child, and trouble within the royal household. Like Bathsheba, we may not realize what we look like to others. It is often wise to ask someone else (such as our parents) whether or not our clothing is sufficiently concealing.
Read Matthew 5:27-28
If David had never invited Bathsheba to his house, would he still have been guilty of sin?
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David's sin began with a lustful look. According to the Bible, is this the same as adultery?
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Can our clothing (or lack thereof) invite lustful looks? _____________________________
Even when our clothing covers us sufficiently, it still may not be properly concealing. It could be too tight and clingy. Or it might have lines and patterns that draw the eyes to places they should not go. The most modest, becoming clothing will draw the eyes to your face rather than your body.
Here's a simple tip to help you know whether your clothing is too tight or clingy: The female form is made of curves. It is necessary for clothing to drape over the topside of these curves. But if it hugs the underside of the curves, it is not appropriate.
What are some other ways to tell if your clothing is revealing too much?
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Read Luke 17:1-2 and Romans 14:12-13
According to these verses, are we responsible if our clothing (or any of our actions) cause someone else to sin? _____________________________________________________
Read Matthew 18:6-9
Since we are guilty if our lack of modesty causes others (and/or ourselves) to sin, what should we do about it? ____________________________________________________
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Jesus tells us that anything that causes us or others to sin must be cut out of our life, no matter how difficult and painful that may be.
Are you willing to sacrifice your own comfort and desires rather than cause someone else to sin? _________________________________________________________________
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Now let's go on to the second aspect of modesty--
Sobriety:
What is sobriety? (Use a dictionary, if you need to.) ______________________________
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A sober young lady will be temperate and will choose clothing that reflects this characteristic. Such clothing will be free from excess—it will not include large, showy prints or excessive ornamentation.
Read Esther 2:13-15
If Esther was like many other young ladies, she could have been tempted to try to impress the king with eye-catching clothes, cute shoes, a special hairdo, lots of makeup, and stunning jewelry. After all, how else could she expect to stand out among so many other beautiful women? But what did Esther choose to wear and take with her when she went in to see the king? ________________________________________________________________
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Esther only wanted the basics—whatever the chamberlain deemed necessary.
Now read Isaiah 3:16-24
What were some of the things the daughters of Zion were wearing? __________________
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These ladies were decked out in chains, bracelets, earrings, rings and nose jewels, bonnets and headbands, fine linen, hoods, veils, and more. What a contrast to Esther's sober, modest choice! This was clearly an excess of ornamentation.
Read verse 16 again. What was the reason the Lord had to punish the daughters of Zion?
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These women were proud and haughty, and they wanted to show off. They showed, both by their actions and by the way the dressed, that they were not seeking the honor of God. Instead, they wanted everyone to look at them. They even walked in such way that their anklets would make a tinkling sound and draw attention to their fine appearance!
What are some things you can avoid so that you don't draw undo attention to yourself? How can you be more sober in your dress? _________________________________________
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Read 1 Timothy 2:9
What is the last thing this verse says our clothing should not include? __________________
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While studying principle #1, we learned that sobriety of appearance is freedom from excess. This can also include freedom from excessive spending on clothing and accessories.
Read Romans 12:13, Deuteronomy 15:11, and Proverbs 31:20
What is one reason for avoiding costly array? __________________________________
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Read Ezekiel 16:49
What was the last sin of Sodom mentioned in this verse? ___________________________
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Read Isaiah 58:6-12
What is the promise for those who share what they have with others, rather than spending their resources selfishly? _________________________________________________
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If we will be economical in purchasing clothing, accessories, and cosmetics, we will have more to share.
Read Proverbs 31:11-12
If you are unmarried, you are building habits now that will effect your finances after you are married. You can also begin now to save money for that time.
Can your future husband trust you not to waste money on unnecessary adornment? _______
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Read James 2:1-4
Besides selfishness and wastefulness, what is another problem that can arise from excessive spending on clothing? ____________________________________________________
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We do not want to cause ourselves or others to look down on those who have less. Always wearing name-brand clothing, very showy styles, or having a new outfit every time we go somewhere can be a symptom of pride.
Read 1 Chronicles 29:13-16
Who does “our” money really belong to? ______________________________________
Read Matthew 25:14-30
Although today we use the word “talent” to refer to all the abilities and resources God has given us, the word originally meant a sum of money.
According to this passage, what are we responsible to do with God's resources? __________
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Read Proverbs 31, verses 13, 19, and 22
We must use God's gifts wisely for the advancement of His kingdom. Do these verses give you one idea of a way to be more economical? ______________________________
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Although most of us cannot spin, weave, or make our own cloth, we may be able to make some of our clothing ourselves. We can also use sewing skills to alter or repair clothing so that we don't have to buy so much new.
Read 1 Timothy 6:6-8
What is another way to save money? _________________________________________
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We don't always have to wear the latest styles or be changing the way we look. We can be content with what we have.
What are more ways you can think of to be more economical when it comes to your apparel?
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Now for a word of caution: Sometimes we may be tempted to use economy as an excuse to keep inappropriate attire. Maybe there's a fairly new shirt hanging in our closet that's just too low in the neck. We know that purchase wasn't a wise use of money, and we really should get rid of it, but we say, “If I get rid of that one, I'll have to replace it. And it's not even worn out yet! That would certainly not be economical.”
Read 2 Chronicles 25:5-9
King Amaziah had not spent his money wisely when he hired the Israelite soldiers. But when God told him to send them home, would it have been wise for him to keep them? _________
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We must not use economy as an excuse to disobey God's other principles.
Read verse 9 again. What assurance did the prophet give the king? ___________________
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This promise is for us, too. If we need to make an economical sacrifice in order to be obedient, we can be assured that God is able to give us much more.
Read Psalm 139:13-16
Who is your designer? ____________________________________________________
Read Isaiah 43:4-7 and Revelation 4:11
What was God's purpose in creating you? _____________________________________
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God is glorified and pleased by His creation, including our bodies.
Read 1 Corinthians 6:19
What does God call your body? _____________________________________________
Imagine that you have a friend who is a home designer and builder. This friend builds a house for himself, paying close attention to every detail, and planning the layout exactly as he wants it. Soon after the house is completed, your friend receives an opportunity for employment in another country. He decides to take the job. Knowing it will be several years before he returns, and not wanting to let his new house sit empty, he allows you to rent it from him. So you move in. After living there a few months, some things begin to bother you. Maybe you don't like the color of the siding. And there's no window above the kitchen sink. You really wish your friend had designed these things a bit differently. But do you have the right to change them? Of course not! It's not your house. You can't just cut a window wherever you want one, and tear off the siding. You job is to maintain the house for it's owner. It's the same with our bodies, which God designed as dwelling places for the Holy Spirit.
Do you think it honors God when we damage His temple with such things as tattoos or piercings? _____________________________________________________________
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What about when we unnaturally alter our appearance with hair color or makeup? ________
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(Please note: We are talking here about trying to change the way God created us to look. There may be a legitimate use of cosmetics, such as using a bit of powder or cream to smooth out a complexion. However, the use of cosmetics should usually be kept to a minimum, and we should try to make our appearance as natural as possible.)
How do you think God feels about showy apparel that hides our natural beauty? __________
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Are you content with the way God made you? __________________________________
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Read 3 John 1:2 and Exodus 15:26
According to these verses, what is God's desire for us? ____________________________
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What we do to our bodies affects our minds. When we are healthy, our minds are more clear for communion with God.
Read 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
What is another good reason to care for our health? ______________________________
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It does not bring glory to God when His daughters destroy their health. And after all, our health is not our own to abuse as we please. What might unbelievers think about God if all of His people were sickly? ___________________________________________________
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Of course, God does allow sickness at times, and we can honor Him even in sickness by keeping a cheerful, trusting spirit. But there is much we can do to preserve good health.
Read Exodus 15:26 again
What does this verse say is a good way to care for our health? ______________________
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Since God made us, He knows what is best for us. Following His principles will allow Him to bless our health.
Read Isaiah 3:16-24
What was to be the punishment for these ladies' pride? ____________________________
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Not only did the Lord say He would take away their ornaments, but He also said He would destroy their health and beauty. Sometimes we inflict this very same punishment on ourselves by the ornaments we choose.
Think about it: What are some things we might wear today that can injure health and destroy beauty? Here are a few suggestions to get you started:
Tight, skimpy clothing
High-heeled shoes
Cosmetics with cancer-causing ingredients
Now add to the list:
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Will you determine to choose healthy apparel for the glory of your Maker? ______________
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Read Leviticus 13:47-59
We have already discovered how important it is to choose clothing that promotes health. From this verse, what is one more way a garment might injure our health? __________________
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When our clothing is contaminated with disease or other impurities, we must make sure it is thoroughly cleaned before wearing it again.
Read Exodus 19:10-11 and Genesis 35:2-3
Besides the fact that cleanliness or lack thereof affects our health, do you think there could be other reasons why God wanted His people to appear before Him in clean clothing? What might some of those reasons be? ____________________________________________
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Whenever you go to visit someone very important to you, or you attend some special event, you make sure you are clean. You are showing your respect for the person or people you are going to see. You are also showing how much you care about their opinion of you.
Are you more careful of your appearance in the presence of other people than you are in the presence of God alone? ___________________________________________________
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There are times when we will get dirty. We must not be too prissy to get in and work. But then we need to change our clothes and get cleaned up afterward.
Read 1 Corinthians 14:40
This verse is obviously talking about how a church service should be conducted. But do you think it could apply to how we dress, as well? ___________________________________
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Read John 20:6-7
Why do you think Jesus went to the trouble of folding His graveclothes just so, and then making sure that fact was mentioned in the Bible? _______________________________
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Our Lord has left us an example to show that He values neatness and order in all areas of life, including our dress. No one would want to be a Christian if all the Christians they knew were untidy and unkempt. Matching colors, well-fitting garments, and neat hairstyles all help us to be better representatives of our Lord.
Read Hebrews 10:22
Does your outward appearance reflect the clean heart that God has given you? __________
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Read Esther 5:1
What kind of clothing did Esther put on when she went before the king? ________________
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Now read verses 2 and 3
How did the king respond to Esther's visit? _____________________________________
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Do you think he would have responded so kindly if she had just gone in her old work dress instead of her royal apparel? ______________________________________________
Read Esther 4:1-2
Do you think Esther would have even been able to get into the king's presence if she had been wearing the wrong thing, such as sackcloth? ____________________________________
Read Proverbs 31:21
Why does the virtuous woman not fear cold weather? _____________________________
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It is important that we choose appropriate clothing for whatever duty, event, and climate we are faced with. We do not want to appear disrespectful, or to stand out because our clothing does not fit the occasion. And while we must not become slaves to fashion, it is wise to take our culture into some degree of consideration. A western-style skirt and boots might be fine out west, but they'd likely look rather out of place in the north-eastern states. Flip-flops are great for the beach, but they really aren't the thing in a business meeting.
Read Genesis 24:65, Genesis 41:14, John 13:3-5, and 2 Samuel 3:31
As you can see, there are many examples in the Bible of different attire for different occasions.
What would be the appropriate clothing choice for each of the following occasions?
A wedding, at which you are a guest:_________________________________________
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A church work bee: _____________________________________________________
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A shopping trip: _________________________________________________________
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Cleaning your house: _____________________________________________________
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Going to church: ________________________________________________________
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Outdoor exercise, such as jogging: ___________________________________________
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Riding a bicycle: ________________________________________________________
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A meal at a nice restaurant: ________________________________________________
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A gathering at a friend's home: _____________________________________________
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Working in your garden on a hot summer day: ___________________________________
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Sledding down a snowy hill: ________________________________________________
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Read Deuteronomy 22:5
What does God think of women who dress like men? _____________________________
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Read 1 Corinthians 11:14-15
What does God think of women who choose styles that are different from men? __________
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God considers us gloriously beautiful when we honor His principles. But He calls us an abomination when we don't.
Read Deuteronomy 18:9-12, 25:13-16, and 27:15
What are a few other things that God calls an abomination? _________________________
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Do you think dressing like men could be in the same category as human sacrifice, witchcraft, deception, and idolatry? ________________________________________
Read 1 Corinthians 11:14-15 again, then read 1 Corinthians 11:3
Why does God want women to dress differently from men? Try to find some answers in these verses. _______________________________________________________________
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When we look at the natural creation, we can see that God designed men and women to be different. Men's and women's forms are different. Obviously, those with different forms will need different kinds of clothing to be modest. (This is even true among women, whose shapes are not all exactly the same.)
Also, men and women have different roles. Do lawyers and auto mechanics dress the same? What about a business owner and a janitor? No, of course these people don't dress the same. They each choose clothing that fits their role and the tasks they are trying to accomplish. They also choose clothing that will help to show what their occupation is. If a doctor came to the office in overalls, he might be mistaken for the maintenance man. His patients probably would have less confidence in his ability. It is the same for men and women. We have different roles and different work to do, therefore we need different clothing to fit our role and to show what that role is.
Read Ephesians 5:22-33
What is so important about men and women having different roles? ___________________
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The relationship between men and women is to be an object lesson, illustrating the relationship between Christ and the church. In this object lesson, men are to represent Christ and women are to represent the church.
Read Isaiah 14:12-14
What if the church were to try to take over Christ's role? Isn't that what Lucifer wanted to do? _________________________________________________________________
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It's interesting to note that at the very beginning of the feminist movement in the 1800's, women began trying to dress like men. It may seem like a small thing, but the statement they were making was huge. In essence they were saying, “There should be no difference between men and women. We can look like men, act like men, and fill men's positions.” But when women try to usurp men's position in any way, they fail to properly represent the relationship of the church to Christ. In doing this, they are actually becoming representatives of the enemy.
Read Genesis 2:18
What was woman created for? _____________________________________________
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Does your clothing show that you value your role as man's compliment and completer?
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Read Genesis 35:1-3
If you read the preceding chapter as well, you will see that Jacob's family was in desperate need of revival. In verse 2, what was the final thing that Jacob told his family to do in preparation for meeting with God? ___________________________________________
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Now read verse 4
Did changing their garments only mean changing to clean clothes? Or was it something more? _______________________________________________________________
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In Genesis 34, Jacob's daughter, Dinah, fell because of too close association with her idolatrous neighbors. Now it was necessary to reestablish the distinction between followers of God and idolaters. When Jacob told his family to change their garments, they took off their jewelry and, I believe, they removed anything that connected them with heathenism and idolatry.
Read Zephaniah 1:8 and 2 Kings 10:21-22
In the Bible, were certain kinds of clothing associated with idolatry? ___________________
What about today? Are there certain types of clothing (or hairstyles, etc.) that are associated with paganism or sinful living? ______________________________________________
Can you give some examples?
(Remember that love of self and covetousness are really idolatry. See Colossians 3:5.)
Here are few to get started:
too-low necklines
mini skirts
torn clothing
tattoos
Now add to the list:
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Read Numbers 15:38-40
What did God ask His people to do to protect them from falling into sin? ________________
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When God's people obeyed Him and dressed differently from the heathen nations surrounding them, their distinctive apparel reminded them that they belonged to the Lord. It was also a silent witness to those they associated with.
Read Romans 12:1
Would it be right to present a sacrifice clothed in worldly attire to God? ________________
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Now read verse 2
Are you conforming to the world? Or does your clothing reveal a transformed heart and mind? ________________________________________________________________
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Of course, it isn't always easy to obey God rather than follow fashion. Let's take a look at two queens who chose to go against the dictates of their society.
Read Esther 1:5-12
Was there a lot of pressure for Vashti to be immodest? ____________________________
No, we don't have a king commanding us to do wrong, like Vashti did. But society often pressures young ladies to do whatever everyone else is doing, and often, the fashions of our society are not in accordance with God's principles. (Even when a current fashion happens to be acceptable, just following fashion, rather than basing our choices on God's Word, is dangerous.)
Re-read verse 12
What did Vashti do when she heard the king's command? __________________________
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Read verses 13-21
What was the immediate consequence for Vashti's decision? ________________________
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Read Esther 4:6-11
Although Esther's test wasn't in the area of fashion, was she also called to go against the dictates of her society? What was the possible penalty if she disregarded custom? ________
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Read Esther 2:1-3 & 16-17 and Esther 8:4-8 & 17
Although Vashti's disobedience to the king resulted in loss to herself, what did her choice do for God's people? What did Esther's choice do for them? ________________________
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Unlike these courageous queens, we do not face the threat of death for obeying God. But like both Esther and Vashti, we have the opportunity to impact others for good.
Are your choices in the area of dress made out of fear of men, or a desire to honor God and bless others? ___________________________________________________________
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Read Esther 4:14
Are you willing to be a leader in reclaiming godly principles, or are you waiting for someone else to do it? ___________________________________________________________
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Do you believe God has called you to be different and set a godly example at “such a time as this?” ________________________________________________________________
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Read Ruth 3:1-4
Especially consider the first part of verse 3. Is there ever a time when we should give special attention to our appearance? _______________________________________________
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When studying principle # 3, we found that our appearance should be as natural as possible. However one could take this principle to an extreme and say they wouldn't brush their hair because they wanted to be “natural.” This is not what God intends. A natural appearance does not mean an un-groomed appearance.
Read Proverbs 31:21-22
What do these verses commend the virtuous woman for? __________________________
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It is appropriate to make sure our clothing and physical appearance is attractive.
Read Luke 12:27-28
Who created the beauty of the flowers? _______________________________________
Do you think God appreciates beauty? ________________________________________
These verses are clearly saying that we should not worry, because God will provide for our needs. But I believe there is another lesson we can learn from them. If God went to so much trouble to clothe the meadows with beautiful flowers, He must have given just as much attention to designing His daughters. I believe God gave each of us a measure of beauty, and that He is pleased when we cultivate this gift in the right manner.
Read Exodus 28:1-2
When God was instructing Moses in how to set up the tabernacle, how did He say the priest's garments should look? ____________________________________________________
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Since the priest was representing Christ to the people, his clothing needed to be beautiful. After all, I'm sure Christ does not go about His work in the heavenly sanctuary looking drab and ugly. Remember: He is the Creator of beauty. A proper representative will portray an accurate picture of the one he represents. Also, the priest's beautiful clothing would help the people to respect his leadership.
Now read 1 Peter 2:9
Who are Christ's representatives in the world today? ______________________________
Do you think it is necessary for us to represent Christ in our outward appearance, as well as in our characters? _______________________________________________________
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Read Ezekiel 28:16-17
Look especially at the beginning of verse 17. Is it possible to misuse the gift of beauty? _____
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Has your beauty become a source of pride? Or do you give God the glory and strive to honor Him in your appearance? ____________________________________________
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Read Matthew 23:27
Is it possible to be outwardly beautiful, but inwardly ugly? __________________________
Read Proverbs 11:22
What does the Bible compare a beautiful woman with an ugly character to? __________
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It doesn't matter how valuable a jewel may be, if it's in a pig's snout it isn't pretty. And no amount of lovely jewels will ever make a dirty pig beautiful. In the same way, if our hearts are full of ugly attitudes, our physical beauty becomes worthless. Then, anything we do to enhance our outward appearance is nothing but a mask to hide our real ugliness.
Read Psalm 29:2
Do you think it's possible to give the Lord due glory if we don't possess the inner beauty of holiness? _____________________________________________________________
Read Proverbs 31:30, John 15:4, 1 Peter 3:3-4, and Isaiah 52:7
What gives us this inner beauty? ____________________________________________
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When we give our hearts to Christ and abide in Him by keeping our thoughts directed toward Him and choosing to obey Him, He will give us a character like His own. He will also enable us to share His love and truth with others.
Read Psalm 45:13
Our outward beauty should simply be a reflection of genuine inner beauty. The Bible mentions several women whose outer appearance reflected a lovely character. Match the women on the left with the character traits on the right.
Sara (Genesis 12:11) Humility & Wisdom (1 Samuel 25:32-33 & 41)
Abigail (1 Samuel 25:3) Unselfishness & Courage (Esther 2:15 & 4:16)
Rebekah (Genesis 24:15-16) Submission & Faith (1 Peter 3:3-4 & Hebrews 11:11)
Esther (Esther 2:7) Helpfulness & Hospitality (Genesis 24:17-20)
Read Jeremiah 2:32
Which is more important to you: your appearance or your Lord? _____________________
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Will you determine to follow God's principles for your dress, and to always put Him first in every aspect of your life? _________________________________________________
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May God bless and guide you
as you seek to follow His design in your appearance.